I thought I had lots of answers to what to do when the world seems sad: pray, look at all the beauty there is, give thanks, send healing energy, focus on the heart chakra instead of the angry or despairing or grieving of the solar plexus. But I have been haunted by something I saw last week in the parking lot of a local grocery store.
A woman was crossing the parking lot with a German shepherd on a leash. She was talking on the phone and yanking viciously on his leash almost every step, anger and annoyance emanating from her. He slunk along beside her, the posture of an unhappy, scared dog, not knowing what he was supposed to do, but knowing that bad treatment was going to come his way no matter what he did. I could tell this was not momentary irritation but a habitual pattern. The dog’s posture told the story. He was the picture of misery and he was trapped with his person. I thought of all the dogs living with people who take their emotions out on their dogs, don’t give them what they need, and keep them under their control just for the sake of control. There are many children in this situation too, but children grow up, leave, and can choose to seek therapy to help them heal their wounds. That German shepherd will most likely live out his life like that. Death will be his only escape. A life of quiet desperation. My heart bled for that dog.
Another woman who was crossing near this situation stopped in her tracks, as I had. I watched a frown appear on her face. She looked like she was about to say something. But what could we say? Please stop yanking on that leash? Can’t you see how unhappy your dog is? What had stopped us in our tracks was the energy emanating from person and dog—angry energy from the person and unhappy, fearful energy from the dog.
I know that woman holding the leash was probably treated like that as a child. I’m sorry that she was. But she’s an adult now. She has choices. She has a responsibility to the world to heal her wounding, so she isn’t taking her emotions out on those around her, so she isn’t browbeating the dog in her care, repeating the cycle of what she got as a child. There is a statute of limitations on how long you get to use your childhood wounding as an excuse for your behavior, and childhood wounding is NEVER an excuse for an adult mistreating a child or an animal. Yes, we all make mistakes and lose our tempers at times. But when mistreatment of a dependent is habitual, that can be seen in the body language of the dependent. The truth is revealed in the child’s or the dog’s cringing.
What we saw in the parking lot that day was so deeply disturbing because it was an utter disregard for the happiness of another.
The world is way too much with me today…
