Check Engine Light

Being a mystic living in a cave seeking God must have its challenges, but is any of it as challenging as trying to stay centered, with an open heart, calmly accepting what is and what will be, while sitting at the car mechanic’s waiting to hear how much it will cost to turn off the Check Engine light that suddenly lit up on the dashboard of an eight-year-old vehicle? Trying not to project into dire bottom lines. Trying not to think about debt vs income ratio. It would be so easy if there was plenty of money sitting in a bank account to pay for whatever is needed. Yes, I’m sitting at the mechanic’s and no, the bank account will not cover it.

But I’m thinking next of all the people in the world who are hungry right now. The people in the US who are hungry right now. Even the mystic in the cave must think sometimes about the Indian sadhu with the begging bowl.

We choose our lives. This mechanic mourning is the price I pay for driving a car. I long for the cave…

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Importance of Brambles

I looked out the living room window this morning to see the flock of California quail that live here. I was delighted to see 11 young ones, grown big enough that it is likely they will survive. In previous years, at other places, I’ve watched a flock dwindle from 13 babies down to 3. I credit the high survival rate here to the dense blackberry brambles that provide a protected home. They can run easily beneath the brambles, but no predators can follow them. Wildlife organizations ask that people leave brambles on their property to provide refuge for birds and other wildlife. So don’t clear every bit of brush from your property. Permission to be wild…

This reminds me of what I learned when I was writing an article on how to keep creeks healthy for the fish that spawn in them. It’s important not to clear away all the trees that fall across the creek or brush on the banks. The fish need shaded pools and the brush prevents erosion. More permission…

Posted in Birds | Leave a comment

The Apple Ritual

The animals are starting the apple ritual early this year. They coax me to the various trees around the property to get me to shake the tree and bring down some apples for them. The apples aren’t ready, but the animals can see the tempting orbs hanging there, out of their reach. The donkeys, Pegasus, and Chloe all know from previous years that I am available to perform this service for them. Beau and Fleur-de-Lys weren’t here last apple season, so they didn’t know what this early morning walk was all about the first time everyone headed out, following me to a tree. Chloe was the first to give the ritual call this season, standing outside my door and baaing. I knew what she wanted and we headed for the nearest tree.

Beau and Fleur watched the apples fall, but I don’t think they had ever had an apple before. They didn’t run forward like the others to root in the grass for the fruit. I brought an apple to each of them, bit into it so they could break it apart more easily, and presented it to them. Beau sampled it immediately, while Fleur puzzled over this strange food item. The twins are too young for the juggling it takes to bite off chunks of the rolling fruit, so they just watched and snuffled near their mother’s nose lowered to the ground. Fleur soon got how delicious even mostly green apples are. Now she and Beau run to me for the ritual too.

Chloe calls to me most mornings to come around the house to the Rome tree—this year’s best apples. A few days ago, she and Beau were waiting by the front steps. Seeing them from the living room window, I went out to take them on a walkabout. I called to them to follow as I headed for a different tree down the hill. Chloe understood what we were doing and set off after me immediately. Beau didn’t know, but followed anyway. At the tree, I shook down the sweet little yellow apples (closer to ripe) and watched them excitedly eat this manna fallen from heaven. I thought of all the gifts showered on all of us all the time. Like Beau and Fleur, we sometimes have to learn to recognize the gift. Let us be as fast as they were.

Just as I wrote this, Chloe called from the Rome tree for her morning apples. Excuse me while I go pick some—be right back…

chloe the sheep under the apple tree

Chloe under the Rome tree

beau the sheep goes after an apple on the deck

Beau and the apple gift

Chloe had her flock with her. Beau came up the stairs to the deck to gain better access to the apple tree. He discovered he could go up on his back legs and reach some of the apples himself, plus delicious green leaves.

Little Snowflake gazed into my eyes when I held a bite of apple out to her, more interested in looking into my soul than what I held in my hand. She is so very present in her eyes, not having had to leave her body since she was born into the peace and joy of the sanctuary. She gazes at me intently, looking as though she is getting to know me. Our eyes meet and we know each other.

snowflake the lamb on the deck stairs

Snowflake climbs the stairs to join her Uncle Beau

Posted in Sheep | Leave a comment

Peace and Calm

Everyone on the sanctuary is healthy right now—knock on wood. I’m hesitant to call attention to that, out of superstition that it will pull in some calamity. But I’m risking the fates because I want to send out a big thank you to the universe.

me and pegasus

Pegasus and me (Photo: Mella Mincberg)

Walking in gratitude today for the presence of the animals, for their continued health, for the sight and sound of birds, for the golden grasses of California, for the gloriousness of life, and for the countless precious gifts we receive from nature every day.

Posted in Horses | Leave a comment

Joys of Summer

What a joy it is to feed dinner to the group in the warm late afternoon of summer. These days, now that the grass on the land is dried golden,

feeding time for donkeys and sheep

Feeding time (photo credit: Mella Mincberg)

the animals are usually waiting near the barn at 4 pm for hay and other treats.

Here, Raphael and I enjoy a moment of communion while Sylphide goes for the bowl and the sheep gather at the feeder. It looks like Beau has decided that the teff hay (the hay supplier was out of the low-carb orchard grass I usually buy) is not worthy.

Posted in Donkeys, Sheep | Leave a comment

Exploring the World


lamb in birdbath

Snowflake in the birdbath with sister Aurora watching (photo credit: Cassie Ibarra)

One of the joys of having animals roam free is getting to watch their explorations of the wide world. Here is Snowflake at 18 days old discovering the birdbath and figuring out what to do with it, while her sister, Aurora, looks on.

Not long before this, Aurora jumped up on her mother’s back (Fleur-de-Lys was grazing at the time) and wavered there, trying to keep her balance as her mother walked through the grass. I’ve never seen anything like it. My Columbian lamb Wonder didn’t climb the way these two Icelandic ones do—sometimes they seem more goat than sheep. I found Aurora on top of a stack of two bales of hay—no small height for a two-week-old lamb to scale.

At different times during the day, the animals come to the shade of the oak tree arching over the birdbath and the water bucket for a drink from either or both.

donkey at the water bucket

Ulysses coming for a drink

Posted in Donkeys, Sheep | Leave a comment

One of My Familiars

Witches have familiars, those cats and owls and ravens and other supernatural beings who help with the magic. Here is one of my familiars at work. She is the daughter of a tabby cat who I’m sure descended from a long line of witches’ familiars.

Lorca the cat on the desk

Lorca helps write

Posted in Cats | Leave a comment

What to Do When the World Seems Sad

I thought I had lots of answers to what to do when the world seems sad: pray, look at all the beauty there is, give thanks, send healing energy, focus on the heart chakra instead of the angry or despairing or grieving of the solar plexus. But I have been haunted by something I saw last week in the parking lot of a local grocery store.

A woman was crossing the parking lot with a German shepherd on a leash. She was talking on the phone and yanking viciously on his leash almost every step, anger and annoyance emanating from her. He slunk along beside her, the posture of an unhappy, scared dog, not knowing what he was supposed to do, but knowing that bad treatment was going to come his way no matter what he did. I could tell this was not momentary irritation but a habitual pattern. The dog’s posture told the story. He was the picture of misery and he was trapped with his person. I thought of all the dogs living with people who take their emotions out on their dogs, don’t give them what they need, and keep them under their control just for the sake of control. There are many children in this situation too, but children grow up, leave, and can choose to seek therapy to help them heal their wounds. That German shepherd will most likely live out his life like that. Death will be his only escape. A life of quiet desperation. My heart bled for that dog.

Another woman who was crossing near this situation stopped in her tracks, as I had. I watched a frown appear on her face. She looked like she was about to say something. But what could we say? Please stop yanking on that leash? Can’t you see how unhappy your dog is? What had stopped us in our tracks was the energy emanating from person and dog—angry energy from the person and unhappy, fearful energy from the dog.

I know that woman holding the leash was probably treated like that as a child. I’m sorry that she was. But she’s an adult now. She has choices. She has a responsibility to the world to heal her wounding, so she isn’t taking her emotions out on those around her, so she isn’t browbeating the dog in her care, repeating the cycle of what she got as a child. There is a statute of limitations on how long you get to use your childhood wounding as an excuse for your behavior, and childhood wounding is NEVER an excuse for an adult mistreating a child or an animal. Yes, we all make mistakes and lose our tempers at times. But when mistreatment of a dependent is habitual, that can be seen in the body language of the dependent. The truth is revealed in the child’s or the dog’s cringing.

What we saw in the parking lot that day was so deeply disturbing because it was an utter disregard for the happiness of another.

The world is way too much with me today…

Posted in Dogs | Leave a comment

What the Birds Know

I dreamt I was running to catch a train. I had to catch it to make other travel connections. Weighed down with luggage, I couldn’t run fast enough or make the jump onto the moving train. I was running and swearing and already trying to figure out what to do. Suddenly, a beautiful sound entered my dream and pulled me away from my frustration at the train rapidly disappearing down the tracks ahead. The sound pulled me partway from sleep and I recognized it as a bird singing in the gray of dawn. Only half awake, I was filled with utter joy and, in the next moment, so grateful that my first impulse on hearing the song was joy. What a gift to have that response within me. What a gift from the bird, sharing her song with the world. I was also relieved to have escaped from the train scenario. Weighed down with baggage… The bird reminded me to savor the day and not let the logistics of life weigh me down. Reminded me too that the joy within is always there for me to enjoy.

We all have that capacity right there inside us. What joy will you find today?

3 baby owls in nest

Baby owls (photo: Regina Kretschmer)

Like Elizabeth Barrett Browning, let me count the ways…The baby lamb bleat of Aurora Charlotte calling for her mother. Exchanging breaths with Raphael the donkey. Pegasus the unicorn running in for breakfast. The snapdragon plant I nursed back from the brink of death showing new buds of flowers. The satisfyingly mown lawn I mowed yesterday to reduce foxtail exposure for Lorca the cat and the sheep. The swallows bringing wisps of hay to build their nest in the barn. The quail calling from their blackberry habitat. The chirr of the hummingbirds in the honeysuckle. The vultures riding the thermal air currents far overhead. And yes, now I remember owls hooting softly in the night. Don’t worry about the train…

Posted in Birds | Leave a comment

Shearing Day

Shearing happened last week—the annual event that must be endured to get those heavy coats of wool off for the summer. It’s an uncomfortable procedure for the sheep (and scary if it’s your first time!) and I feel their distress—we’re all relieved when it’s over. This was Fleur and Beau’s first shearing, since they are just over a year old. I had Chloe go first so Beau and Fleur could see what it was all about. Fleur went next and her babies set up a cry immediately—their bleats sounded like “Mom! Mom! Mom!” We were all in one stall together so nobody would have to be anxious at being separated from the flock, but the lambs had never seen their mother in someone else’s hands, much less a stranger’s, and they kept up their cries until the sheep shearer had restored Fleur to them.

Beau the wether after his first shearing

Beau after his first shearing

Now we can see what Beau and Fleur-de-Lys look like without all their shaggy wool.

Fleur the ewe after her first shearing

Fleur-de-Lys after her first shearing

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

twin lambs with their mother

Snowflake and Aurora Charlotte with their mom

The babies still sound like babies, but they are almost as tall as their petite mother.

 

A measure of their growing up is that they are willing to be a distance from their mom, which they wouldn’t do for the first six weeks.
Since she is nursing, Fleur has to graze a lot, and the babies sometimes want to nap in the shade instead of roaming around her.

lambs napping with ewe

The twins taking a nap with Aunt Chloe

I was indoors writing when a chorus of bleating and baaing drew me outside to make sure all was well. The picture here is what I found. From her position in the shade, Aurora Charlotte would every so often call for her mother (I guess Snowflake let her sister do the checking in) and Fleur would answer, often with her mouth full, head still down grazing, so she sounded like she was baaing under water. When they saw me, the chorus increased all around, but the twins stayed where they were, happy with their Auntie Chloe.

Posted in Sheep | Leave a comment